There’s something about not knowing that rattles us to the core. Whether it’s waiting for exam results, planning a trip overseas, or navigating a major life transition, we all crave the comfort of certainty. We like to know what’s coming our way so we can prepare. Unfortunately, life rarely works that way.
So, how do we handle uncertainty without letting it consume us?
Why We Struggle with Uncertainty
As humans, we're a fairly cautious bunch. We’ve evolved to seek safety in predictability. When we know what’s coming, we feel a sense of control, and that comfort gives us a sense of calmness. You can see that in our voting behaviours - when the future seems uncertain, we tend to vote for the person already in charge, because more change makes us feel at risk.
Our ancestors likely depended on being able to anticipate threats or changes to help them survive. And so, in our brains today, uncertainty still sounds alarm bells. It makes us feel vulnerable because it’s a reminder that we’re not fully in control and that could be dangerous.
The Mental Load of Uncertainty
When we’re uncertain, our brains jump in to help us prepare for anything that might happen. Our brain works overtime to fill the space and assess all potential outcomes. While this is our brain’s way of protecting us, it often leads to overthinking. For instance, you might start planning every detail of an upcoming event, going over each “what if” in your head, and rehashing each potential problem and solution (our brain's way of preparing us for potential danger).
This can lead to two main reactions: overcompensation or avoidance. Some people might double down on their efforts to control every aspect of a situation. Think of the classic “micromanager” who, by refusing to delegate, ends up overwhelmed. This urge to control everything is exhausting and often creates more problems than it solves.
On the other hand, some people avoid uncertainty by procrastinating. If a decision feels risky, they may keep researching endlessly or delay making a choice. Imagine someone planning a trip overseas who spends hours studying the public transport system but feels stuck because they just can’t know everything in advance. The truth is, no amount of research can eliminate the unknown.
Breaking Free from the Cycle
So, if uncertainty is unavoidable, how can we learn to live with it more comfortably? Here are a few strategies to consider:
Acknowledge the Anxiety as Normal: The discomfort we feel with uncertainty is a normal, human reaction. Your brain is alerting you to potential danger—even if there isn’t any. Accepting this can help reduce the emotional struggle.
Make Room for the Discomfort: Instead of trying to avoid the feeling, try acknowledging it. Sit with the discomfort, rather than attempting to push it away or solve it. Ask yourself, What does letting go of control afford me? For example, a manager who delegates might gain valuable time for bigger-picture tasks.
Trust in Your Own Problem-Solving Ability: One of the most empowering things you can do is trust that you can handle challenges as they come. Instead of over-preparing, remind yourself that if an issue arises, you’ll have the ability to respond to it then. The mental energy saved from letting go can be better spent on the present.
Focus on What’s Within Your Control: We can’t control everything, but there are often aspects of a situation we can influence. Break down tasks into manageable pieces, focus on the parts you can take action on, and allow the rest to unfold.
Shift from ‘What If’ to ‘What Is’: Overthinking often centers on hypothetical scenarios. When you catch yourself spiraling, bring your attention back to this present moment. Anxiety is future focused. Being present in the moment, for example through grounding, allows our anxiety to pass through without trying to get rid of it.
Make peace with uncertainty
Life is full of unknowns. The secret isn’t to eliminate uncertainty but to learn how to navigate it without being swept away. Letting go of the need for absolute certainty might even surprise you—it can bring a sense of freedom, room for creativity, and confidence in your ability to adapt. Remember, uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re not prepared; it’s just an invitation to trust yourself in the unknown.
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